Lost But Not Forever
by svulover15
Summary: Olivia is abducted and Elliot falls apart. The guys of the 1-6 must work together to find her, and bring her back. Rated M for future chapters. Will be EO in the future! gotta have EO love.
1. Kidnapped

**Lost But Not Forever**

It was a dark and windy night. Olivia was walking home. Her apartment was just a few blocks from the precinct and her car was in the shop. Elliot had offered her a ride home, but she had declined because she wanted some fresh air.

She was one block from her building when she started to feel like someone was watching her. Suddenly, she felt a hand go over her mouth and a gun pressed to her temple. She stood completely still, scared to death that he would shoot her. He pulled her into an alley and pulled out a rag. She knew that smell; it was the distinct and pungent smell of chloroform. She tried to get a look at her attackers face before her world went black, but it was to dark. She slowly slipped away into a dark world.

Olivia awoke later with a start. She couldn't remember at first as to what happened, but then she started to put together the scattered memories of the night. She tried to get up, but as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she realized that her hands were tied painfully to something. It was at that point that she realized she was on an old dirty bed. There was a thin sheet separating her from the stained mattress. Her hands were obviously tied to the bedposts and she was wearing the same clothes that she had been wearing when she was abducted.

She was in what looked like a basement. It was musty, and the only light was from a light bulb hanging from a wire. There was a small room to the side of her. The door was open and she could clearly see that it was a poorly maintained bathroom. She was pulling at the ropes that were bounding her hands when she heard footsteps. They were loud and she could hear them getting closer. The door to her prison creaked open, and in walked her abductor. She had assumed that it was someone she had put away, but she didn't recognize him. He was tall with brown hair. He looked like he was in his mid-to-late forties. He was clean shaven and his clothes were clean and neat. If the circumstances were different, she would day that he was handsome. However, at this time, all she saw was the man who kidnapped her and tied her to this bed.

Elliot has just arrived at his new home, which happened to be an apartment in Manhattan. It was his new home since his split with Kathy. He was happy despite of the divorce. He was able to see his children every other weekend and on holidays. It wasn't practical, but it was enough for him. He walked in and immediately grabbed his phone. He dialed a number that was embedded in his mind for life. His partner Olivia's number. She was supposed to call him when she got home so that he knew she got there okay.

The phone rang three times before he started getting antsy. Olivia always answered on the second ring. He was probably a little to protective of her, but he didn't care. He ran out of his apartment and climbed into his car. He sped off in the direction of his partner's building. If he could only admit it to himself he would say that he was heading in the direction of the love of his life's building.

He was about a block from his destination when a young woman walked out of an alley with something in her hand. It was shiny and gold, in a black case. He had a strange feeling that he should stop and see what it was. He pulled up along the girl and she started to walk away when he showed her his badge. She had a look of relief when she walked up to him.

"Thank goodness you're a cop. I didn't want to have to take this to the police station," the girl said before handing him the item and walking away.

Elliot looked froze when he realized what she had just handed him. He felt like his heart had stopped and the world was stuck in this moment. He was holding in his hand, Olivia's badge. He jumped out of his car and charged towards the alley.


	2. Pain

**Sorry bout the chapter 2 issue. I accidentally posted the wrong chapter. Anyways….this is chapter 2. Also I 4got to put a disclaimer on the first chapter. Sorry again. EO for this story ********. Hope you enjoy chapter 2.**

**Disclaimer: Well…they're not in my closet so I guess they're not here. ******** Not mine. **

Olivia was still trying to get free from her ropes when the man quickly walked up to the side of the bed.

"Well, well, well, look who's awake. Still trying to break free I see. Hmm….well don't you worry. I'll keep you VERY busy while you're here," he chuckled and looked at her with desire.

"Look, I'm a cop. So, you have no chance of getting out of this unless you let me go now. I will make sure that you get a good deal if you just let me go now," Olivia said with a confidence that she definitely did not feel.

"Aww, bored of me already? Hmm…I'll take care of that later. You see honey, you're not leaving this room for a long time. You're little cop buddies can't help you now. You can try to escape from me, but no one ever does. You belong to me. You will do what I say, when I say it. So, you had better get used to it because I will break you." He reached out and touched her face. "Mmm…yes. You and I are going to have so much fun. I'll be back later."

Olivia waited until he left before letting one tear slide down her cheek. _What's wrong with me? I'm supposed to protect people. I'm supposed to have my partners back. I can't even take care of myself so how can I take care of other people. My mom was right, I'm completely useless. Elliot doesn't deserve to have to put up with me. God I love him. Why can't I just tell him…then he can laugh at me and crush my dream of being with him. Elliot can have any woman he wants now that Kathy's out of the picture. Why would he want me?_

**The alley where Liv was abducted**

Elliot had run in last night, out of breath and screaming. Since then, the squad had been working round the clock, desperately searching for Olivia. It seemed like their worst nightmare had come true. Fin and John were at the alley talking to the crime scene investigators.

"Did you find anything?"Munch asked.

"No. There's no sign of a struggle or anything. Olivia would never just go down without a fight; so, he must have had a gun. It smells like chloroform in there so we're checking for that, but all that would tell us is that he used chloroform on her. We're running the prints that we got off the badge through the system, but I'm sure they're just Olivia's. It probably fell out of her pocket when she was taken. This guy covered his tracks pretty well so that we wouldn't find him. So, I doubt will find anything useful here. I'm sorry. " Melinda looked like she had seen a ghost. She had been working with the 1-6 for so long, they felt like family. No. They were family. Captain Cragen was the loving father who watched over everyone. Munch was the oldest brother who could really make you laugh in between his conspiracy theories. Fin was the next brother, he had been hardened through years of working with drug addicts, but he had a lot of love in his heart. Then there was Elliot. He was one of the best detectives they had. He showed compassion for the victims, but at the same time he could make a perp cry from just looking at him. He was tough, but soft at the same time. He was also madly in love with his partner, but he would never admit it. Casey was the youngest and newest addition to the SVU, but she was well loved.

Then, there was Olivia she was the younger sister of the original squad. She had more passion for her job then anyone they had ever seen. She also had a bad habit of holding everything in until she couldn't stand it anymore. She had only broken once though, back when her brother Simon had come into the picture. She was so good with the victims and she could intimidate the perps too, regardless of the fact that she was a woman. She knew it too and she was rightfully proud of herself. She was the rock of the SVU. She held them together and made sure everyone was okay. Unfortunately, she forgot about herself most of the time.

Now she was gone. They would never be able to move on without her. Let's face it…Cragen would eventually break and retire, and Fin would keep going for a little while, then he would transfer out. Munch would lose his wit and his humor and leave the squad. Elliot would have the hardest time.

Elliot would close up. He wouldn't talk to anyone. Hell… he wouldn't get out a bed unless he was forced. He would try to move on, but inside he would know that there was no moving on without Olivia. In the end, he would probably eat his gun. Good Catholic or not, he couldn't go on without the love of his life. And then that would be it. New detectives would come in and take there places. The rest of the world would move on while they quietly slipped into there own never-ending misery. That would be the end of them.

"Melinda, Melinda, hey Melinda! Are you okay?" She had gotten lost in her thoughts and didn't hear Fin calling her. "You okay or do I need to call a bus?"

"Oh sorry, I guess I just can't believe this is happening. Why Olivia? I mean I wouldn't wish it on anyone of course, but why Olivia at out of everyone?" She asked Fin even though she knew that he couldn't give her an answer. No one could for that matter.

"I know. I mean…we gotta find 'er. Baby girls gotta be somewhere. Look… we will find her 'ight. So stay strong and if you need help with anything or if you find anything give me a call. 'Kay?"

"Yeah. I will call if I find anything. Thanks Fin." She gave him a small smile which was returned, and then she turned and walked away.

**Meanwhile at the 1-6**

Elliot had been going crazy for the past couple of hours. Nothing was turning up. There was no evidence, no witnesses, and no way were they going to find her anytime soon. He wore his knuckles raw from pounding his fists into his locker. He knew that Cragen could take him off the case if he didn't keep it together, but he could barely stand without falling apart. He sat down on a bed in the cribs and put his head in his now bloody hands.

"Elliot." He looked up to see the Captain standing there with a sad look on his face. "Elliot, I cannot keep you on this case if you are going to kill yourself over. I know how much Olivia means to you. In fact, I know that you love her more than anything in the world. And one day, after we find her and you finally tell her that you love her; I will break the rules and turn my head away. The brass doesn't need to know everything. But right now Olivia is missing, and beating yourself up is NOT going to help us find her. So, pull yourself together, clean up your hands, change your clothes, and get your ass down to the squad room." Cragen finished his lecture and looked at Elliot's face. He looked shocked.

"How long have you known?"Elliot couldn't believe that the Cap had known about his feelings for Olivia before he had even admitted it to himself.

"Let's just say that I've been turning my head for so long that my neck is numb." Elliot nodded.

"That long huh?" He sighed.

"Yeah. Now hurry up and get down there. That's an order." With that he headed back down the stairs.

Elliot sat there for a minute before getting up and heading to the showers. He had to stay strong so that they could find Liv before it was too late.

**Alright so that's it for now. I know it wasn't too action packed but I thought it was important to get the characters thoughts and stuffs out there b4 I continued. I have nothing to do 4 the weekend so the next chapter should b up 2nite. Hang with me bcuz the next chapters gonna have a lot of action. Read and Review. Thx. ******


	3. Fear

**Okay so here's chapter 3. Yeah I know no one's readin this story yet bcuz it's only been up for a day and it's a holiday weekend, but yeah im just gonna post this chap and wait 4 reviews b4 I continue. That way I'll know if it sucks and I should take it down or if its good and I can leave it up. Anyways....**

**Disclaimer: They're mine in my mind…but not in real life. Sry.**

**Olivia's prison in the basement**

She didn't know how long it had been since her captor had left, but she knew that it had to have been hours. He would be back soon. Very soon. She heard footsteps, and she tried one last time to free her hands. She knew it was stupid, but she had to try because if she didn't it would be giving up. Detective Olivia Benson of the Manhattan SVU, does not give up.

She heard the door creak and looked up to see his horrid face. He looked angry and drunk. Yes, he was very drunk. She knew that she wouldn't stand a chance against him in her current predicament.

"Hey baby," he slurred. "Did you miss you're master while he was gone?" he was right in front of her, his breath blowing in her face. "I sure missed you. Let me start by saying that if you speak without my permission, you get a punishment. Do I make myself clear?" His cruel eyes stared at her with a smirk.

"Yes." She didn't want to give in, but she was just so tired and quite frankly, she was scared of him; especially in the state of drunkenness that he was in at the moment. She thought it better to just listen to him and hope that he didn't go too far.

"Good girl. From now on though, you will refer to me as 'Sir'. Got it my pet?" He ran his hand down the side of her face. She was pissed now.

"Screw you, you bastard. I…."

SLAP

She heard his hand moving through the air and she knew before the blow landed it was going to be painful. His hand collided with her face leaving a bright red reminder with it. She gasped and even though she tried to them in, a few stray tears trailed down her face. He was beyond angry now, and that was not good considering how drunk he was. He could do some damage to her and she knew it. She saw his hand rise again and she flinched back. He slapped her over and over. Then when he got bored of that he started punching her. Before she slipped away into unconsciousness, she heard him say:

"Don't you ever speak to me that way you filthy whore! Now look what you made me do. Great…I'll be back tomorrow when you're awake. Damn stupid bitch can't even address her master the right way. We'll fix that…oh yes…we will fix that. He mumbled as he left the room, leaving her in her unconscious state.

**Back at the 1-6**

Cragen looked around the squad room, clearly frustrated. "Guys, do we have anything at all?"

At that moment Munch and Fin ran into the room. "Captain, we got something!" Everyone gathered around the monitor and they put the tape in. Elliot was holding his breath, not knowing what would be on the screen. Munch continued, "It's the security tape from across the street of the alley. I thought for sure it would be broken, but I was wrong. The crime scene techs took a look at it and they said that it's good quality."

"Have you seen it yet?" Cragen asked annoyed at how long it was taking Munch to put the tape in.

"If I had, I would tell you what was on it instead of standing here trying to figure how I'm going to get this tape in without being seen on the little camera that the FBI has installed inside the flap of every VCR." Munch said, once again going off on one of his conspiracy theories.

"God dammit Munch! Now is not the time to be going off on one of you're theories when Olivia is missing!" Elliot yelled as he grabbed the tape and shoved it into the TV. The camera had been focused directly on the alley. They had to fast forward, but they finally got to the part they were looking for. They saw a man dressed in casual, but nice looking clothes, walk into the alley. He was about 6'5". He had brown hair and was clean shaven. They watched him just standing there. They were moving through scene-by-scene, but they could tell from the time stamp that he had been there for hours. He would edge closer to the opening of the alley every time a woman went by, but then he would go back in after he checked her out.

"This would be about the time that Liv would be walking by," Elliot said looking at the time stamp. Sure enough, they saw her come onto the screen. Once again, they saw him edge closer, but this time they could just see his dark outline because of how late it was. They watched Olivia slow down as if she knew something was there. Then she sped up. They saw the perp come out of the darkness and grab Olivia from behind. His hand was over her mouth and his gun was pressed to her temple. They watched him drag her into the alley and then come out about five minutes later carrying a limp Olivia. They had not been able to see anything that went on in the alley. The man placed Olivia on the sidewalk before pulling out his phone. He made a quick call on his cell and a blue van pulled up along side the sidewalk. They watched him throw Olivia into the back of the van and then jump into the passenger seat as the van sped away.

"Well…we know he's gotta partner. Asshole was checking out every woman that went by. It was as if he had to find the perfect one. Sick freak." Fin looked like he was about to punch the screen.

"If I had just insisted on taking her home…."Elliot started.

"She would have said know like the stubborn woman she is and the same events would have unfolded," Cragen interjected.

"Yeah but…." Elliot started again.

"But what Elliot? You can't blame yourself. This is not your fault. The only person at fault is that sick man we just saw on the screen. Now the way I see it is you either stop blaming yourself and help us find her, or you continue blaming yourself and I take you off the case and put you on desk duty. I bet Olivia would really appreciate the former and kick your ass for the latter." Cragen knew how to hit Elliots heart and make him see things his way.

"Where do we start Captain?" Elliot said after a quick nod.

" Alright Elliot I want you to take the tape down to tech guys and see if they can get a make on the van," Cragen commanded.

"You got it Cap." Elliot grabbed his coat and headed out the door with a new found determination.

"Alright...Fin and Munch go down to the shop where the security camera was. Ask around there and see if anyone say anything."

"We're on it Cap," Munch said already on their way out the door. Cragen went back into his office to get some quiet time and think about what they were going to do next.

**Olivia's prison in the basement**

This was the second time she was waking up like this. She knew that it had to have been about 24 hours since she had been here. After what had happened yesterday, she knew that it was not wise to mouth off to her captor. She remembered once telling Elliot that she didn't know what she would do if she were a victim. She couldn't stand the thought of being raped. Now it wasn't just a thought. It was a definite. There was no way out of it, this man would rape her and maybe kill her eventually. She was lost in these thoughts when she saw him come into the room.

"Well after yesterday I think you owe me an apology. That is unless you want a repeat…"He chuckled when he saw her staring at him. "I'm waiting."Olivia had been debating with herself on whether to satisfy him with an apology, but when she heard the word 'repeat' she knew that if she wanted to live she had better just apologize.

"I'm sor…sorry." She choked out an apology an received a slap as a reply.

"I'm sorry, what?" He was going to teach her one way or another that she belonged to him. He watched her get a look of confusion on her face before she realized what he meant. "Come on I don't have all day and I don't like to wait."

"I'm sorry…Sir." She felt her soul die with that one word. She didn't want to give in to him, but she didn't have the strength to survive another one of his beatings.

"That's my good girl. I think you need to be rewarded for your good behavior. I'll give you just a little pleasure for now, and then when I return later on we can get to the main event." He had that same look of desire on his face that she had seen the first night. He pulled out a knife and she knew the fear was probably visible on her face. She was completely still as he ran the blade against her throat without putting any pressure on it. He slowly cut off her top. She was in a black lacy bra and she saw the hunger in his eyes. Then, he unbuttoned her pants and cut them off when they bunched around her ankles. She had on matching panties, black with lace. He took the knife and cut off her bra and panties. "Mmm…wow that's nice." He reached over and touched her left breast, then her right. Tears were streaming down her face in a never-ending river of pain.

"Please, please, stop. Please…" she begged when he reached between her legs.

"Don't worry honey, I'll make it good for you. I'm not selfish." He continued his ministrations and she whimpered when he pushed a finger into her. He pushed his fingers in one-at-a-time until four were in. He slowly moved them in and out speeding up as he went along. She saw him reach for his zipper with his other hand and she couldn't help, but let out a sob. "Hey, I need some satisfaction too." He used his hand to pleasure himself while he continued to push his fingers into her. When he was finally finished he pulled his fingers out and zipped his pants. "All better baby? I bet you feel so much better now. I told you your master could take care of your needs. I have to go, but I'll be back later." He left closing the door behind him.

After he left, Olivia broke out in a fit of sobs. "Elliot please find me. Please," she mumbled to herself after she had cried for so long that her throat burned and her eyes were so dry she thought that they were going to fall out. She was lying there completely exposed, lost in her thoughts. _He hasn't even raped me with his…Oh god I don't want to even think about that. He said that the main event was going to happen tonight. I wanted to die having his fingers inside me; I won't be able to survive it tonight. Like mother like daughter. My mother was right; I'm worthless. I can't even protect myself against the guys I put in jail everyday. I feel so dirty. Elliot will never touch me now. I'm used, disgusting, and pathetic. I wish I would just die now. _

**Read and Review. U know the drill. : ) **


	4. Her Eyes

**I'm so sorry for the wait. I know I promised that I would have another chapter up like 2 weeks ago, but something came up that had to be taken care of and then I got really sick. So yeah im reallyyy sorry to those of you who r readin this story. I hope u like the new chapter. **

**Disclaimer: not mine blah blah blah…**

**Back at the 1-6**

Elliot had just returned to let the captain know that the van was a 2001 model, but that was all that could be found. Fin and Munch didn't have any more news then they had started out with. No one had seen or heard anything. It looked like there was no hope at all.

"Damn it! How the hell are we gonna find her with no leads." Elliot was in a rage.

"Alright, just calm down. Look I know this is taking a toll on all of us, but we will find her. Right now the three of you look like shit. So, do Olivia and get some sleep in the cribs." Cragen was fed up with the lack of information, but he knew that they needed some rest.

"Captain I can't sleep knowing that God knows who is doing God knows what to Olivia."

"Elliot just try. I don't want to see you in this room for at least two hours, and that's an order."

Elliot walked up to the crib where Fin and Munch had already gone to sleep.

**Olivia…**

That deafening sound of the door warned her that he was back. She naked and exposed just the way he had left her, the way he liked her. He watched her cringe when he walked in. She was almost broken and now he would finish the job.

He saw the dried up rivers that had stained her cheeks. He loved the pain she felt. He drank it up and used it as his lifeline. She was his energy and he needed her in order to survive. He turned her face towards his and forced a biting kiss on her lips, sucking the air right out of her. She didn't fight, and that was good for him.

Slowly, he pulled down his pants and freed himself from his boxers. She was so silent, like she had accepted her fate. He grabbed her hand and led it to his manhood. He used his hand to guide hers up and down his member as the rivers started again down her cheeks.

**Elliot…**

He knew that he wasn't going to sleep. Not without knowing that Olivia was safe. He just sat there on the cot watching the minutes tick by on his watch. Time always went deathly slow when it was supposed to go fast. Every minute that was wasted just sitting there, was another minute that Olivia was missing.

She was so beautiful. He knew that if he was given the chance, he would tell her how much he loved her. He wouldn't just tell her, he would show her. They would make love all night, and she would be there when he woke up in the morning. Just thinking about it made him smile, which he hadn't done for a while. He pulled himself up from his seat and descended the stairs into the squad room.

**Olivia…**

He had tired of there initial contact and moved on top of her. His manhood was now positioned right in front of her face. She knew what he wanted. She just couldn't bring herself to open her mouth.

"You better open your mouth or I'll open it myself." He wasn't taking no for an answer.

Olivia just couldn't do it. He grabbed her face and rubbed himself on her mouth, hoping that she would whimper and allow him the entrance he needed. She didn't open her mouth though. So, he pinched her nostrils together and watched as she struggled to breather. Finally, she opened her mouth.

"There we go sweetie." He said as he pushed himself into her mouth. He pushed too far and she started to gag, so he pulled out a little bit. He pushed himself in and out of her mouth while she struggled below him and he could feel her tears. She was crying harder then he had thought she would. He continued on for longer then he had ever gone before reaching his climax. He forced her to swallow and then pulled out. What he wasn't expecting was for her to vomit all over.

"Oh shit! That's okay; I'll clean it up. It was your first time with me, and that can be expected." He got a wet rag and cleaned her up as she sobbed uncontrollably. He almost felt bad; he had never seen the look in her eyes. He had seen so many women broken, and he loved that. However, she was not broken. She looked more lost then anything. Her eyes looked dead, as if he had killed her, but he didn't kill his victims. He owned them, used them, and then let them go. He didn't like what he was doing to her, and that scared him. Never once had he not liked raping a woman, degrading her. She was doing something to him, and he did not like it at all. It was eating him up inside, those damn eyes.

**Okay so sorry that was so short, but im really tired. Like I said im pretty sick right now and I need to sleep. Read and review if u want an update. Updates will b on Saturday nights normally. Thx. : )**


	5. Don't Look into her eyes

**Okay so sorry to those of u who are still readin this story. I know its not many but still I want to continue so I will. Im even sicker then I was for the last update, but im not tired so this should b a longer chapter then the last. Thx to those who reviewed or subscribed. : ) after this chapter things are going to get a little brighter. **

**Disclaimer: if they were mine they'd have to put the show on a special channel for nudity, sexual situations, ect. Gotta have EO love. **

**Olivia….**

She listened for the sound of the door creaking. She needed him to come down, as weird as that sounds, because she desperately needed to use the bathroom. It was another hour before he came down. She had expected him to be drunk or angry or something. Anything. He wasn't though. He looked kind of empty. It distracted her from her bladder before she remembered just how badly she needed to go. She watched him set a plate of food on a little nightstand next to her. He was barely looking at her.

"Please…I need to use the bathroom…Sir." The last word came out as only a whisper, but he heard her. He almost cringed when she called him that. For some reason he didn't want her to. He wanted her to call him a bastard. Even a son of a bitch, but not sir.

He made quick work of her chains when he saw the look of desperation on her face. He saw that she was having trouble moving after the beating he put her through previously. So, he grabbed a blanket and carefully lifted her from the bed, carrying her into the bathroom. He set her on the toilet and then turned away. He waited outside the door until she called him.

"I'm sorry, but I can't get up. Could you please help me…Sir?" She choked out as she was trying hard to stand on her own.

Again with that damn Sir. God how he wished he had never told her to call him that. He went back into the bathroom, but instead of helping her off the toilet, he turned on the water in the bath. He waited until it was filled to a good level and at a warm temperature. Then he carefully lifted her up and placed her into the tub before removing the now wet blanket. He gave her the shampoo from the closet and then left the room.

She sat in the tub for about an hour. She couldn't believe how gentle he had been. She washed the now dry blood off of herself and washed her hair the best she could. Finally, he returned with a towel. He lifted her out and took her into the room. After laying her down on the bed he went to another closet in the room. He took out a pair of gray sweats and a blanket. He gave them to her before leaving her there, without chaining her back up. She pulled herself into a sitting position and maneuvered herself into the clothes before lying back down, pulling the blanket over herself. She knew he would be back. There was no way he would leave her unchained.

**Olivia's captor**

He was pacing around the kitchen. That's about all he had been doing since he had forced oral on her. _Why am I so upset? What's so different about her? She's just like the others. She's just a stupid whore. She's a bitch who needs to learn her place. Damn it! Who am I kidding? She is different. There's just something about her. I can't go soft. I have to finish what I started. Now!_

He ripped the door open and practically ran down the stairs to the bed.

**Olivia/Olivia's captor**

She looked at him and knew that the gentle tone he had before was gone. She flinched back as he jumped on top of her. He pushed her down and took off her clothes. He quickly rid himself of his pants and spread her legs apart. She was crying, but she wasn't fighting. His guess was that she was just too tired, too hurt, and too scared to fight. She let out a loud sob. He realized that he wasn't moving; he was just staying there positioned above her.

_She's just like the others. Don't listen to her sobs. Pay attention! _He rubbed himself along her folds, seeking entrance. She let out another loud sob and squirmed a little. _She's just like the rest. Stop looking at her! Stop listening! _He slowly slid into her. She screamed out so loud that he couldn't move. He was frozen for a few moments. Then, he thrust into her

One!

Two!

Three times!

She was screaming and crying. She looked directly into his eyes. _No! Don't look into her eyes. Don't look! No!_

Four times!

He looked into those doe eyes one more time and that was it. He couldn't keep going. He wasn't even aroused anymore. There was no pleasure. There was no fun at all. It was over for him. He knew what he had to do.

He pulled out of her and climbed off of her. She curled up into a ball as the never ending tears streamed down her face. He wanted to comfort her. He didn't know why he wanted to comfort her, but he did. However, he knew that she would not want her rapist comforting her after the rape. So, he pushed the clothes towards her.

"Get dressed! Hurry up. It's time for you to go." With that said he turned and left the room.

**At the 1-6**

They were wracking their brains trying to figure out what to do next. They needed a lead or there was no hope of finding Liv. Elliot was on the verge of tears.

"It has been three days!" he started. "We need something or we are never going to find her!" Elliot all but shouted the last part out to the others.

"We ARE going to find her Elliot. We just need something to go on." Munch was far from his normal joking self. He knew that their time was running out and Liv's time was going with it.

"You know Olivia. She's a fighter. We WILL find her." Fin wasn't even sure that he believed his own words.

"Please tell me we have something guys." Cragen looked like he hadn't slept and was about to lose it.

"We're no closer to finding her then we were 3 fucking days ago." Elliot had enough. He was surprised that Cragen hadn't lectured him on his choice of words, but he figured Cragen couldn't argue anymore. Elliot's phone rang breaking the silence.

"Detective Stabler Special Victims Unit, how can I help you?" He heard a hesitant breath on the other line before he heard someone's voice.

"This is Detective Olivia Benson's partner right?" the man said.

"Yes it is! Why?" he had already put the phone on speaker so that the rest of the team could hear.

"My name is," there was more hesitation "Michael McNeil." The man said.

"Okay. Mr. McNeil why are you calling? Do you have any information about Detective Benson's abduction?" Elliot was suspicious, but hopeful.

"I have all the information. You will find Olivia in the basement of the only house on the left side of Oak Road in Queens. She will live, but she is hurt. You need to get to her. I am the one who hurt her. Please…tell her…tell her that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Elliot was about to respond when they heard a shot and then a thud. Then, they heard what sounded like a man groan and then a sharp intake of air. Then, there was silence. Clearly, he had killed himself.

The squad had wasted no time in getting to their cars. Elliot and Cragen were in one car, while Fin and Munch were in another. Cragen had called in for backup just in case. They were at the house within 20 minutes. No one knew what to expect as they approached the door to the basement. They were all just praying that Olivia would be okay.

**Review. It would make me feeeelll better. : ) Thank you for reading. **


	6. Torn Hearts

**Hey!!! Really sorry bout the long wait for an update. What's it been like 3 months? So, first, I went from public to Cyber School. Then, I had severe asthma, and last but not least I'm recovering from meningitis. On top of all that though, I'm 14 and my ability to sit and write without being distracted…minimal at best. LOL! Anyway…I'm healthier then ever, and ready to continue.**

**Anyways. I lied in the last chapter because this is actually gonna be the last sad chapter before things start to look up. I promise though they do get better. MUCH BETTER with all the EO goodness ;)**

**Disclaimer: still not mine, but I'm optimistic. :D**

**Elliot and the guys…**

Elliot wasted no time heading towards the basement. Sure he was scared as hell, but Olivia needed him. He opened the door and immediately noticed the lack of light. Pitch black. He sure as hell couldn't help Olivia if he broke his neck falling down the stairs so he felt around for a light switch. The guys right behind him the whole time.

He found the switch and almost fell down the stairs when he did. All along the staircase were pictures, pictures of women sleeping, or more like unconscious. They were covered in blood. There had to have been at least a hundred pictures. Each woman looked different. They slowly made there way down the staircase, unable to go any faster for fear of falling. There, at the bottom of the staircase, was a picture of Olivia. Just as the rest she was covered in blood and unconscious. That was all Elliot needed to jump the last three stairs and run towards the large steel door he saw ahead of him.

He took one more deep breath before pushing the door open and praying that what he saw didn't destroy him. It was dark, and he could smell blood. Panic overtook him and he couldn't compose himself enough to find the switch. Frantically moving his hands along the wall he started to shake from the overwhelming feeling in the pit of his stomach. Finally, Cragen put his hand on his shoulder and stopped him. Munch took over and found the switch within seconds.

At first they didn't see Olivia and almost thought she wasn't there, but then they heard it, a sound that tore all of their hearts in two. They heard a small, frightened whimper. Elliot put his hand up to stop the guys from following, not wanting to scare her any more. He slowly made his way into what he assumed was a bathroom. Olivia was sitting on the floor curled up in a ball, shaking so hard he almost thought she was convulsing. She didn't look up at him, but instead kept her face firmly pressed into her knees. He turned and nodded towards the guys and then made a signal telling them to go. They didn't take it personally because they knew that the less people there were, the easier it was for a victim to come around. They turned and quietly made their way upstairs to assist the other officers.

**Olivia…**

She had heard the sounds on the stairs and knew he was coming back. She also knew what a gunshot sounded like and that she had heard one earlier. She just assumed that he had killed someone and was now coming to do the same to her. She ran into the bathroom and curled up in the corner, escaping into her mind.

_Maybe if I just pretend he's not here, he won't be. If this is going to happen I just hope he doesn't rape me again, at least not until I'm dead. This is it. I did the best I could in life, and now it's over. Oh God he's coming! I just need one more minute with Elliot before I go. I have to tell him that I love him. Too late._

She heard him walk into the bathroom and slowly drifted away in her mind. She went right back to the rape, as so many victims do when they're around their rapist.

_**Flashback:**_

_**He's on top of her, taking her clothes off before pulling his pants down. Then she's crying and he's staring at her. She screams as he pushes into her. **_

_**"Please stop! Stop! NO! Stop it! It hurts so badly! Don't touch me! Please? " She's screaming it in her head, but her mouth doesn't move. Why isn't she saying it out loud? She doesn't want this so why can't she scream. **_

_**It's over in what seems like forever, but had only been about five minutes in reality. He's pulling out, but she can still feel him inside her. She's crying and pulls her knees up to her chest. He's throwing the clothes at her.**_

_**"Get dressed! Hurry up. It's time for you to go."**_

_**Then, he's gone. She's still crying while pulling the clothes back on. It hurts so badly between her legs that she's barely able to get the pants back on.**_

**Elliot…**

He had been trying to get her to look up and see that it was him but he was failing.

"Liv. It's me Elliot. Liv it's El, you're safe. I'm not going to hurt you; no one's going to hurt you. He's gone, and he isn't coming back."

"Please stop! Stop! NO! Stop it! It hurts so badly! Don't touch me! Please?" Liv was screaming, lost in her mind.

Elliot couldn't stand to hear her say that. He had figured she's been raped, and this just confirmed it. A few tears ran down his face as he watched her helplessly. She needed to get to the hospital based on the visible injuries. She could have internal bleeding. All of the angry bruises covering her body, in addition to the sobbing and begging she was doing was killing him. He knew that if that son of a bitch McNeil hadn't beaten him to the punch, he would have killed him. He didn't give a damn how sorry that SOB was, he would have beat him to hell and back for what he did to Liv. It was too late for that though; he needed to focus on Liv.

He knew this wasn't proper protocol when dealing with a rape victim, but he had to snap her out of it. He reached out, expecting the struggle that came next. He grabbed her carefully so as not to cause her any more pain and pulled her into his arms. She kicked and sobbed and pulled on his shirt. Her nails dug into his chest painfully as she struggled to get away from him, still in a trance. He bit his lip from the pain, but made no movement and remained silent the whole time. He felt horrible for taking her power away again, but it was the only way to save her from her own demons. Tears were pouring down his face just thinking about how terrified she must be, thinking that he is McNeil. Several minutes went by before her movements slowed and then stopped. She carefully lifted up her head and looked at him for the first time.

"E-e-l-l-l-i-o-t-t. El. Oh god. I'm sorry, I thought it was _him."_ She held onto him tightly before laying her head on his chest, letting the last few stray tears soak into his shirt.

"No. It's okay you don't have to apologize. You're safe. I'm never gonna let anybody hurt you again. I'm so sorry Liv. I'm so sorry." He let out his last few tears too before gently lifting her from the floor and carrying her out to the ambulance. He knew she was in pain and he was dying inside because of it, but he couldn't help but let out a breath of relief. At least she was alive.

**Okay so the next chapter is going to deal with her in the hospital, and then what happens when she gets out. Don't worry, I'm gonna get to the good stuff. ;)**


	7. Hospital

**Wow! So, I haven't updated in over a year! Craziness! Last time I updated this I was 14, now I'm 16. To be honest, I just lost interest in writing for a while. Plus, I got a new computer and didn't have Word installed on it. I'm using a trial version now actually xD. Well…on with the story I guess! Lol**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine!**

**Hospital…**

It had been 4 hours since they'd arrived at the hospital. Elliot rode with Olivia in the ambulance, and she passed out from exhaustion almost immediately. He held her hand the whole time.

The doctors had rushed her into a room, checking for internal injuries and any other traumas. Elliot was going insane!

**Elliot…**

He'd been sitting in the uncomfortable plastic chairs in the hospital waiting room for four hours! He'd started off worried and fearful, then angry, now numb! _Why the hell isn't anyone telling me anything? Is she okay? Is she scared? Does she need me? Please, someone tell me something! PLEASE! _He put his head in his hands and tried to summon his last ounce of patience. _Nope. None left!_ He walked up to the front desk with determination.

"Excuse me! I've been sitting here for four hours! Why hasn't anyone told me anything about Detective Benson?" He barked it a little more harshly then he'd meant to at the young blonde behind the desk.

"Sir I apologize, but we're extremely busy right now! There was a five car pile-up on the freeway!" She said it with force, but the look in his eyes made her want to cry. Clearly, he was about to burst into tears. "You know what though? I'll get her doctor for you right now. Okay?" She gave him a small, sad smile.

"Thank you." He appreciated the kindness of this woman, and he almost felt bad for yelling at her just moments before…almost.

**Olivia…**

She'd been lying on the overly-firm hospital bed for hours. Well, she assumed it was hours. Her imprisonment, even for just three days, had destroyed her sense of time. It could have been two minutes; she wouldn't have known the difference.

She hadn't opened her eyes yet. She didn't want anyone to know she was awake. She didn't want anyone around her, talking to her. She didn't want them to make it a reality for her; she was still pretending it was all just a terrible nightmare.

Of course, that wasn't her only reasoning, but her other reason filled her with shame. _I'm afraid. I'm afraid of men. I don't want them near me, looking at me. I'm weak. I'm used. They all know it. They know what he did to me. Elliot knows what he did to me. The whole squad, the doctors, everyone knows. They're judging me. Silently. I want to disappear. I can't do this. PLEASE let me die!_

She heard the door open and figured the nurse was back to check on her. She kept her eyes closed, feigning sleep to avoid the looks she knew she'd have to face soon. However, when she heard the chair next to the bed sink in, she knew it wasn't the nurse. _Elliot. Oh god! _Still, she kept her eyes shut. Until she felt his hand wrap around hers and give it a gentle squeeze.

**Elliot…**

When he walked into the hospital room and saw her lying on the bed, he almost couldn't breathe. She was so small, so bruised, and so vulnerable. It pained him to see her that way. He walked over to the chair next to the bed and sat down. She appeared to be sleeping still, but her breathing told him otherwise. He reached over and took her hand into his, gently squeezing it. Slowly but surely, her eyes opened.

"Liv? Hey sweetheart. How do you feel?" He spoke in a soft tone to comfort her. It didn't seem to help though.

"El? I..I…" He saw the look on her face. She was scared, terrified even. _Does she think I'm going to hurt her?_

"Liv, honey it's okay! No one's going to hurt you. I promise you, I'll protect you sweety!" He saw her relax a little at those words, but she was still very tense.

"El...What…what happened to…_him_?" Her voice was so quiet, subdued. He was straining himself trying to hear her.

"He's dead. He called and told us where to find you. Then he shot himself." The look of surprise on her face told him that she wasn't expecting that response. He saw the relief on her face at his words though. "Liv, do you need anthing? Are you in any pain? Hungry, thirsty?"

"No. I'm fine. Thank you sir…I mean…Elliot." He watched her face turn a deep red at her slip of words. _Did she just call me sir?_

**Olivia…**

She realized her slip of the tongue almost immediately, but it was too late to take it back. The look on his face was one of confusion and concern. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why the fuck did I call him sir? _The rational side of her knew that she was a victim. She was trained to call her rapist that, or be punished. It made sense that she had slipped. Her pride got the best of her though, and she was deeply ashamed of her mistake. _What do I say now?_ Elliot spoke first.

"Liv…did you just call me…sir?" His tone was so soft, almost comforting to her.

"I…I'm sorry. It was a slip of the tongue." She hesitated before telling him the next part, he eyes averted towards the wall. "_He_ made me call him that. If I didn't, he would beat me." Her voice was starting to break, and she felt the tears threatening to fall. _God no! Don't break down, not now! Not in front of Elliot! He already thinks you're weak; don't show him just how right he is!_ She lost the mental war with herself; the tears started falling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry!" She choked out those words before the barriers completely broke. She pulled her knees up to her chest, sobbing into them. She was shaking so hard; she could barely breathe. The machines were screaming in protest of her panic attack.

"Liv! Liv, honey, its okay! Everything's gonna be okay! You gotta calm down baby! Liv?" She heard him talking to her, but her mind was too far gone to make any sense of his words.

A nurse, accompanied by a doctor, rushed into the room. They quickly gave her a sedative and then retreated from the room.

**Okay so this chapter was a little slow, but I gotta get back into the story. Lol. Give me time. Reviews are welcome if you're still with me : )**


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